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The Redhead Bedhead: Sex Educator JoEllen Notte
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Live & Learn Archive

24 April 2026

Trauma on Trauma: The Harm of Forced Silence

The burden of carrying trauma chips away at us and the practice of shushing people who try to speak up makes the existing pain bigger, badder, and uglier. Let’s talk about talking about trauma!

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04 August 2025

Did Watching Jason Mantzoukas on Taskmaster Change Which Men I Want to Date? Maybe.

I’ve always found the concept of developing crushes on random famous people to be one of the funniest and yet vaguely mortifying things we as human beings do. According to

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30 October 2021

4 Dating App Lessons From My Past to Help Your Dating App Future

Looking around on social media, it looks like a lot of my vaccinated friends are getting ready to head back into the dating world. Personally, I’m in no shape to

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06 September 2021

Now is Not the Time: Taking Space to Heal (Even When My Brain Objects)

I’ve been feeling it again lately, the pull, the pressure, the anxiety, the voice in my head that says “do more!” “be more!” “you are never going to achieve anything

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06 November 2020

When Crisis Brings Clarity: The Unexpected Way 2020 Changed My Life

I recently had a conversation with a reader in which he stated “crisis can bring clarity” and that hit me hard. I think a lot of us have been living

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13 August 2020

You’re Still You: Remembering sexuality is not dictated by how much sex you are having

So, here we are in month 5 (FIVE!) of quarantine and I want to talk to you about something I’ve seen a bunch of folks struggling with online: the feeling

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05 August 2020

Make Your Home A Sexy Haven (without buying stuff)

Over the years I’ve talked a lot about the proliferation of toys and other sex paraphernalia that fill my home but what I’ve never discussed is how, in spite of

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18 March 2020

Comfort Media: 12 Series & 1 Podcast to Soothe Your Socially Isolated Mind

Hey folks! So I know a lot of us are isolating at home right now and it’s a scary time so a lot of us are probably anxious and scared

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16 December 2019

2019 Best of Bedhead: Posts, Podcasts, Projects and More!

Well, here we are, it’s time once again for my annual “Best of” list and, as has become the tradition with said list, my annual look at what I did

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22 November 2019

To Get The Sex You Want Online, Read The Damn Room

Whether you are looking for love or just sex, the internet can be a confusing place with ads telling you to have an affair or to sign up and exclusively

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About JoEllen

JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken here at The Redhead Bedhead.

JoEllen has led workshops nationwide on sexual communication, navigating consent, having casual sex kindly, and dating as an introvert. She has toured sex shops, spoken at length on dildos, and even started a sex school but she is happiest and most effective when writing and speaking on behalf of quiet people who have sex. Check out her video series on attending conferences as an introvert and her extensive writing on sex and depression.

JoEllen has spoken at Clark College, University of Chicago, University of Tennessee, the Guelph Sexuality Conference, Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit, and the Playground Conference

JoEllen’s first book The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression & The Conversation We Aren’t Having was published by Thorntree Press in March 2020. Her new book In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family was published by Thornapple Press in March 2023.

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