Brace yourselves kids, in addition to hearing about some rad new toys, you’re going to get a little anatomy lesson today too.
First, allow me to introduce two of my new closest friends:
I first heard of L’amourose after a minor tift with my friend Dangerous Lilly. She had referred to me as “easily orgasmic” causing me to go on a rant about my body being the freaking rubix cube of hard-fought orgasms. Then we internet hugged it out. A day or two later she, based on our discussion about my body’s very specific orgasmic needs she mentioned a toy I had never heard of called the the Rosa and suggested that its unique shape might do it for my body. Coincidently, two days later the rock stars at SheVibe wrote and asked if I wanted to test the L’amourose toys and, well, here we are.
I’m reviewing the Rosa and the Denia at the same time because they are extremely similar and my review is basically the same- you needn’t read it twice.
So, what’s the deal with these toy? They are dual stimulation vibrators. The Denia has an arm for clitoral stimulation while the Rosa relies entirely on the base. They each have two strong rumbly motors (like I handed the Rosa to the cute boy and he said “I finally get what you all mean when you say “rumbly”) and testing the Rosa for the first time caused me to say this:
Folks, I just had a masturbatory out-of-body experience… the review for this one is a while off but, it's going to be good. #damn
— JoEllen Notte (@JoEllenNotte) November 22, 2014
Also they are bloody gorgeous.
How does it work? Both toys are rechargeable and come with pretty little charging bases and whatnot. They are controlled with (they only part I’m slightly lukewarm about) buttons that are nearly invisible. A + and – for turning on and off and raising and lowering the power and a thing that looks like a stretched out ying-yang for changing modes.
Fun Fact: I usually don’t bother with modes. With these toys I do because, yes.
How do they feel?
I can’t overstate this, these toys are gorgeous. I had seen them online but I was so not prepared for how beautiful they actually are (they are also packaged very well- As Lilly said in her review “what sex toys would look like if Chanel made sex toys”) I felt a bit under-dressed when they got here:
I'm holding in my hand a pair of toys so sexy that I'm feeling self-conscious that I'm in my yoga clothes w/ dirty hair & no makeup @shevibe
— JoEllen Notte (@JoEllenNotte) November 21, 2014
They are made with a matte silicone and shiny plastic in the bottom of the base. The “buttons” are really just raised icons on the side of the toys.
No, seriously, how do they feel?
A Rant About Anatomy:
I mentioned before that orgasms are a hard-fought victory for me and frankly, when I saw these toys I was curious but not super-hopeful. You see, one of my biggest frustrations as a sex blogger is the landscape littered with constant references to “women need clitoral stimulation” this and “the g-spot feels like the next coming of christ” that because, for me direct clitoral stimulation is painful (I once referred to men who insisted on trying to “stimulate” my clitoris no matter how clearly it was doing nothing for me and, indeed, causing pain as “clitorally focused velociraptors“) and g-spot stuff usually feels annoying at best and painful at worst.
“OMG JoEllen? Are you even human?!”
I know! What DOES feel good for me?! Well, check it out, there’s a whole mess of stuff down there that can feel good (I’m going to keep this hella simple here because, toy review, but we’ll delve deeper one day). A study came out recently that coined the term “CUV region” and it was fabulous but got totally lost in the shuffle because people interpreted it as saying “the g-spot doesn’t exist” and then everyone started screaming. but the upshot is this: between the clitoris, the urethra, the vagina, the perineal sponge and all the associated nerves and erectile tissue in the area the potential for pleasure is HUGE so yeah, the two spots everyone is obsessed with mentioning constantly don’t do it for me but I figured out how my body works and BOOM I have orgasms and everyone rolls their eyes when I say perineal sponge for the billionth time (#taintlady).
How did my rant relate to these toys? These toys were freaking made for what I just talked about. That wide, flared base? It lets me stimulate the perineal sponge, the urethra, the clitoris- ALL OF IT. Even the internal part worked for me, something about how rumbly it was and how I didn’t feel like I was being poked- it just worked.
My first experience with the Rosa was transcendent. I realized early on that I could move it around and stuff, sure or I could put it on one of the alternating modes (see! I use the modes with these!!) and just lie back… and I did. I spent… I don’t even know how long going right up to the edge of orgasm and coming back and then when I decided I wanted to orgasm I reached down and changed it to the steady mode and done.
The Denia I was surprised by because I loved the Rosa so much I was worried that the clitoral arm would get in the way but it is large and firm enough to be feel good (no stupid rabbit ears here!) but (like the shafts of both toys actually) flexible enough to move around so I could adjust my positioning.
I loved Denia too but since direct clitoral stimulation isn’t my jam, Rosa is my go-to (Rosa is better for stimulating the clitoris through the vulva) for most situations, with the notable exception of the bath, where Denia was a bit more fun.
I simply can’t recommend these toys highly enough (hell, the Rosa was already on my Favorite Things of 2014 list), not just because they will make you have orgasms but because they actually seem to be made with an understanding of anatomy. These toys go hunting for all of the spots that MIGHT feel good and stimulate them just in case. These toys aren’t there to help you go find an orgasm- these toys go looking for one for you. I’m actually getting choked up writing this (shut up) because, for the first time I’m having that experience I’ve watched you all have where I feel like I’ve found a toy that was made for my body – but honestly, I think this toy is just made by people who understand bodies.
- There is a another version of the Rosa that heats up, the Rosa Rouge. Rad.
- I suspect Rosa could be a nice anal toy. I didn’t try but if that’s your thing, let me know.
- My Rosa is black, it’s cool and I’m not seeing it available online…. yeah, just gloating ;-) Update: After I posted this Shevibe started carrying the Rosa in black. You’re welcome.
- I was able to do with the Denia something I always wanted to do with my We-Vibe and always failed at: Put it in and walk around doing stuff- it stayed put.
Working for me:
- They are powerful and rumbly
- The vibration patterns are actually cool
- They are smart sex toys. They acknowledge that we are more than clits and g-spots.
- They covers my preferred “large swathes” of body
- The shape make these toys so easy to hold and use.
- They both hold their charge super-well. I charged them when they got here and haven’t re-charged yet and I have been USING them.
Not so much:
- The buttons aren’t my favorite… I don’t have a better suggestion though so there’s that
- I always hate raving to you guys about stuff that’s so expensive and these are way spendy. Sorry.
These products were provided to me free of change in exchange for my honest review. My review policy is simple: I will never lie about liking a product if I don’t (in fact I probably won’t even write about it) but when I do like something it’s hard to get me to shut up about it.