This week I changed online dating sites (there’s a story there, you’ll hear it next week) I put my profile on the new site around midnight on Sunday. It is now noon on Wednesday. I’m here to share with you some of the cray-cray that has entered by inbox in the last 60 hours. So, without further adieu I will share with you the things that 2.5 days of online dating brought into my life. Enjoy!
6 sets of measurements – Totally unsolicited. Fun fact: apparently just about everyone on this site has a 9 inch cock- I’m wondering if that was a prerequisite.
5 requests for pictures – Ones with less clothes than the ones featured in my profile. FYI, nothing in my profile indicates I’d be down for this.
3 offers of pictures – Guess what they wanted to send me pictures of!
3 invitations to adultery– To be clear, these were from men who stated that they were in monogamous (as opposed to open or poly) marriages and would be conducting our “relationship” in secret.
2 requests for pegging – I’m just saying, can we let a girl at least learn her password before we ask her to anally penetrate us? Is that too much to ask? Just give me a minute.
Now, this list has been a lot of fun to put together but it represents only a small fraction of the men I’ve heard from. I did the math: I heard from over 150 guys, this list accounts for 15 (there was some overlap in this list). So, we’re saying about 10% creepy or 90% regular human beings. There were even some really good ones in there- I’ve got some dates lined up already! Don’t let this list scare you, it’s done in jest. Next week we’re going to talk a bit more about online dating- We’ll talk about finding the right site for what you want (and my misadventures in wrong-site dating) and I’ve got some great stuff to show you from Reid Mihalko (who I just adore) and the awesome folks at The Intimacy Dojo about crafting a profile that attracts people you actually want to talk to. It will be a lot of fun!
lmao!!! i’ve said it before. i’ll say it again. dudes are soooo stupid. we just ruin it for each other…
It does make you fall on the normal ones like an oasis in the desert… “oh thank god! you aren’t exposing yourself! let’s date now!”
I honestly don’t envy you. The sheer volume of db’s and wanna-be’s is daunting, but at least it makes for good reading.
So I guess that’s a “no” on the pegging?
😛
In seriousness:
A fair number of my lady friends have shown me some of the absolute FILTH that hits their OKC mailbox. I don’t GET IT. Well, maybe, in a way, I do get it, these guys have zero social skills in what the kids these days call “The Arr Ells” so they head for the internet, and hope some photoshop and a few quick dick-shots will net them a coterie of “hoes”
I could rant for DAYS on this, but, I think it can all be summarized as such;
“If it doesn’t work in real life, don’t try it on the internet.”
You wouldn’t walk up to a girl at the library, say “Hey gurl, you got some great tits.” And then proceed to pull your penis out, and then ask when she wants to get together…
So an email telling a woman that you think her (body) is nice, an attached picture of (presumably it’s) your dick and an assumption that casual sex is already planned and happening and needs only to be scheduled is equally wrong.
/endrant
Love your blog BedHead. Discovered you recently when you gave my friend’s shop in Boston a good write up, have been reading back to catch up. 🙂
Ok, “coterie of ‘hoes'” just made me spit water at my computer- that’s amazing. As for the assumption that causal sex is planned, I get stabby about that one. There’s a piece in here somewhere called “Keep it Loose, Keep it Tight” that talks about that and I was feeling so intense about it that when it posted my mom called and said “Why are you so angry this week” Good times. Thanks for reading!