My world is a happy place. In my world sex toys have never hurt me*, toy companies are honest, forthcoming and committed to making bad-ass, body-safe products and the sex shops are all Superheroes. It’s good to be me.
Then, every once in a while I come crashing down out of Bedhead-world and into reality. I remember that most sex shops are mere mortals, many toy companies value profit over quality and so, knowingly, use cheap, toxic materials. I remember that sex toy industry is not regulated**, and companies can, without consequence, lie about their materials (the box can say whatever they want it to) to create an illusion of safety, that those of us who know better are trying desperately to suss out what toys are really made out of (seriously, the pattern of “take a match to it, smell it, email someone about it” is oft-repeated in my house) and that lots of people are getting hurt by their sex toys. Reality is a scary, scary place. We need a hero…
Enter Dildology!
What is Dildology?
Founded by a couple of amazing bad-asses, specifically Crista Anne, Val Orenda and Dangerous Lilly (Love you guys! Thank you for this!), Dildology exists to bring some accountability to the industry, to give us answers to the many cries of “no, for reals what is that made out of?!” and well, to call sex toy companies on their bullshit. Simply put- they’re going to test the toys. Would you like some more specifics? I’ll let them tell you themselves:
We will:
- accept monetary donations.
- accept product donations from third-party retail stores and wholesalers.
- purchase products from third-party retail stores.
- choose products to test based on community feedback.
- send products to accredited labs for testing.
- compare the material composition of products to the manufacturers’ claims.
- share the results of lab tests with manufacturers.
- record the results of the lab tests in our wiki.
- make our wiki available to the public.
- provide other educational resources to the public.
We will not:
- accept product donations directly from manufacturers.
- test second-hand products – only those acquired directly from retail stores and wholesalers.
- test any product manufactured more than one year ago.
- publish opinions about products or manufacturers – only facts.
- falsify data, for any reason.
- suppress or fail to publish the results of any test.
Go check out the whole site- it’s awesome. There’s a freaking Wiki! I’m telling you, these people are world-class BAMFs and we know I don’t use that term lightly.
How is this going to happen?
We’re all going to help! In order to acquire toys and pay for tests Dildology.org needs money. You should give them some. You know you want safe toys, you know you want to know what companies you can trust and if that doesn’t sway you, you know you want to know what’s in James Deen’s penis (rumor has it the Doc Johnson version will be next up for inspection).They’re also giving some pretty cool incentives for donating including discount codes for SheVibe, t-shirts and potential nakedness***
“Wow Bedhead! This is awesome! Where can I donate!?”
Ok, 1. I know, 2. Calm down spazz, just click this thing right here!
What Else Can I Do?
She’s psyched. She would have donated but she’s a vibrator so I did it.
Spread the word. Do it. Seriously folks- tell other people about this. Get on Twitter and Facebook. Go to OffBeatr and vote for them there (yes, you have to make an account but I know you’ve made accounts for way less worthy stuff than this, don’t front) and if you have a site, for the love of God plug Dildology there!
What Dildology is doing is amazing- I like to think this is the beginning of a revolution. This is our call to action, our chance to be part of the change. SuperVibe and I are totally in!
So put on your cape (or, you know, not, you could just take out a credit card) and join Dildology as they save the world from mediocre (and worse) sex toys!
*This was dumb luck- I happened to veer toward hard plastic
**So funny that there are so many politicians who just LOVE getting all up in what folks get up to in their bedrooms and what can and cannot go on with vaginas but no one has a damn thing to say about the shiny pink jelly fuck-sticks of doom. Apparently using your vagina in safe and healthy ways warrants government intervention but humping it into a state of chemical poisoning…eh.
***Not sure if that one’s serious but if it is I can speak to Lilly and Christa Anne being damn hot and I’ve never met Val but I’m assuming…that’s right, when I participate in your fundraiser I not only plug your cause, I also objectify you a little
I feel like you did meet Val, he was at CatalystCon too. Tall dark-haired dude usually in a suit?
Crista and I are currently willing to show some skin already for donations and votes, so the big money one would probably happen if the donator wants to see it
Tall, dapper, holding an adorable baby. Lilly is right, I’m almost positive you met him.
This is all sounding right but frankly, if he was holding the baby he may have just been upstaged (for one who is so willfully childfree, I’m shockingly easily distracted by cute babies) Whatever, you’re all crazy-hot.
Thank you all for the work you’re doing. I’m endlessly impressed and inspired by you. Remember I’m always willing help out in any way I can. Even if you needed me to go investigate James Deen’s actual penis for comparison on the next test, I’d totally do it. Because I care.
Seriously though, anything I can do, any time.
You would do that?!? For us?? Awwwwww. *grin* You are the best.
I’m not sure if we’ll get Val naked, which should make everyone sad because daaaamn is he a fine looking man, but goodness knows I will.
This post is glory, thank you dahling. The Doc Deen Peen is up next, we’re sending it out this week and also starting to fill sticker/t-shirt orders asap! The incredibly generous donations are going right back into more testing for the database, so we can really start to see change in the industry.
As a founder I’m biased, but I firmly believe we can make toys safer. It won’t happen overnight, but transparency in our results and education can change the world. Sex toys are such amazing tools to expand pleasure and soon, with everyone’s help, your happy world will be where we all live.