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The Redhead Bedhead: Sex Educator JoEllen Notte
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Live & Learn Archive

07 May 2013

Sex-Positivity, Autonomy and Why I Don’t Sleep With Women

“I think they throw you out of the sex-blogger union for admitting that.” I was having a conversation with what may have been the most sex-positive human being I’ve ever

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30 April 2013

Dildos, We-Vibes and Canadian Airport Security

At the Feminist Porn Awards Wolf Hudson told us how he had been held at the airport for 2 hours on his way into the country because, as he said

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25 April 2013

Love in the Time of Facebook: Someone Didn’t Die & I Hesitated to “Like” It

Last week I had one of the most absurd moments of my dating life. Yes, it beat out the time I dated a guy for 3 weeks because I didn’t

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17 April 2013

Please Give Me an Apartment, I Really Miss Sex

Update: On April 22 I secured an apartment and stopped being such a freakin’ drama queen… about this particular topic.  I don’t usually break from my schedule but I’m feeling

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12 April 2013

#sexgeek S.O.S

I’m sitting in the airport in Minneapolis getting ready to fly to my new home of Portland, Oregon. This marks the end of the Superhero Sex Shop Tour* This experience

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02 April 2013

Surfing, Sex and Being a Badass

I wrote this last summer as a writing sample and then put it aside and completely forgot about it. I just came across it and while everything that says “recently

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05 March 2013

Stop saying “Friend zone”. That’s not a thing.

  Flipping through Jezebel last week I was greeted with the news that, in what can only be described as proof that humans are getting dumber, “Friend Zone” was recently

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26 February 2013

Cherry Picking: Let’s Rethink Virginity

When I lost my virginity it was an intellectual rather than a physical act. I’ll explain in a minute. The “losing the virginity” narrative is one that I think we

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01 February 2013

What Do We Want?: Why is asking for what you need so ridiculously hard?

After much deliberation I made the decision to much across the country.  Along with this comes the decision to change what I do for a living. It just took me

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25 January 2013

I Have First Date Sex and No, I’m Not Killing Courtship by Doing So

I could easily have tweeted the jist of this piece: I have first date sex because I like sex. I didn’t tweet it because I’ve been getting increasingly up-in-arms about

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About JoEllen

JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken here at The Redhead Bedhead.

JoEllen has led workshops nationwide on sexual communication, navigating consent, having casual sex kindly, and dating as an introvert. She has toured sex shops, spoken at length on dildos, and even started a sex school but she is happiest and most effective when writing and speaking on behalf of quiet people who have sex. Check out her video series on attending conferences as an introvert and her extensive writing on sex and depression.

JoEllen has spoken at Clark College, University of Chicago, University of Tennessee, the Guelph Sexuality Conference, Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit, and the Playground Conference

JoEllen’s first book The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression & The Conversation We Aren’t Having was published by Thorntree Press in March 2020. Her new book In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family was published by Thornapple Press in March 2023.

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    • The Map – Find a Shop
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