Gettin’ Riled Up Archive

Stop saying “Friend zone”. That’s not a thing.

Flipping through Jezebel last week I was greeted with the news that, in what can only be described as proof that humans are getting dumber, “Friend Zone” was recently

I could easily have tweeted the jist of this piece: I have first date sex because I like sex. I didn’t tweet it because I’ve been getting increasingly up-in-arms about

Curvy Kate illustrates irony by taking advantage of statement on rape culture I’m sure most of you have seen it. I know I shared it. It’s everywhere. Since 18 year-old

In honor of me coming down with the flu, we’re going with a little classic Bedhead today. This piece originally ran on “The Buzz: Good Vibrations Online Magazine” on September

When we allow bullying to go unchecked we make rape culture okay Watching the Steubenville case unfold I have been brought back to my childhood. As a ten year-old in

and How I’m Going to Help You Find Them Someone recently got snarky with me when I called a shop “sex positive”. Their take on it was “no sex shop

Why fighting over who should be allowed abortions undermines us all You know your party’s in trouble when you read this:A: The rape guy lost. B: Which one? — ABFoundation

Because, seriously, no one seems to know how pregnancy happens One of the weirdest things I think about this time of year is the time a few years ago when

Last week a bunch of folks shared a fabulous video called The Psychology of Slut created by Kathryn Stamoulis, PhD. When I saw it I was writing a piece for

About a year and a half ago someone I love very much got kicked in the balls by his girlfriend. It was totally an accident but it was kind a

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JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken here at The Redhead Bedhead.

JoEllen has led workshops nationwide on sexual communication, navigating consent, having casual sex kindly, and dating as an introvert. She has toured sex shops, spoken at length on dildos, and even started a sex school but she is happiest and most effective when writing and speaking on behalf of quiet people who have sex. Check out her video series on attending conferences as an introvert and her extensive writing on sex and depression.

JoEllen has spoken at Clark College, University of Chicago, University of Tennessee, the Guelph Sexuality Conference, Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit, and the Playground Conference

JoEllen’s first book The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression & The Conversation We Aren’t Having was published by Thorntree Press in March 2020. Her new book In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family was published by Thornapple Press in March 2023.

Gettin’ Riled Up Archive

Stop saying “Friend zone”. That’s not a thing.

I Have First Date Sex and No, I’m Not Killing Courtship by Doing So

Remember the time advertisers ripped-off Rosea Lake’s evocative art to sell panties?

Dating, Slut Shaming & the Post-Coital Fist Bump

Steubenville, Bullying and a Culture of Rape

Why Good Sex Shops Matter

Abortion Exceptions are Bullshit

Teenage Sex Myths- The Best Argument for Sex Ed

Thoughts on The Psychology of Slut

Balls Out For Cancer or “A Kick In The Nuts Saved Someone I Love”