Being Cool With The Sex Archive

Dorian Gray, Salem Witch Trials and the Thousand Cock Stare

I just read a horribly misogynistic piece called something like “How To Tell if She’s a Slut” (no, I’m not linking. I don’t want to give him the clicks. I regret

The more I talk to folks about sex the more I see folks struggling with some of the same stuff over and over. High up on this list is sexual

Sometimes you meet folks and know that if the circumstances were right you’d nail them. Enter the sexual bucket list Last summer when what had been billed as “let’s meet

Last night I got an OkCupid message from a dude who had been peppering me with “small talk” messages for two weeks. It had gotten to the point where seeing

It’s been a long time since I’ve ranted so, you know, brace yourselves. Please stop saying “if you’re not sure if you’ve had an orgasm, you haven’t” Stop it. Just

“I think they throw you out of the sex-blogger union for admitting that.” I was having a conversation with what may have been the most sex-positive human being I’ve ever

Flipping through Jezebel last week I was greeted with the news that, in what can only be described as proof that humans are getting dumber, “Friend Zone” was recently

When I lost my virginity it was an intellectual rather than a physical act. I’ll explain in a minute. The “losing the virginity” narrative is one that I think we

I admit it, I have a sexy underwear buying problem. I know Victoria. She’s told me her secrets. I have a bunch of sparkly, pretty, impractical but gorgeous matching sets

I could easily have tweeted the jist of this piece: I have first date sex because I like sex. I didn’t tweet it because I’ve been getting increasingly up-in-arms about

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JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken here at The Redhead Bedhead.

JoEllen has led workshops nationwide on sexual communication, navigating consent, having casual sex kindly, and dating as an introvert. She has toured sex shops, spoken at length on dildos, and even started a sex school but she is happiest and most effective when writing and speaking on behalf of quiet people who have sex. Check out her video series on attending conferences as an introvert and her extensive writing on sex and depression.

JoEllen has spoken at Clark College, University of Chicago, University of Tennessee, the Guelph Sexuality Conference, Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit, and the Playground Conference

JoEllen’s first book The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression & The Conversation We Aren’t Having was published by Thorntree Press in March 2020. Her new book In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family was published by Thornapple Press in March 2023.

Being Cool With The Sex Archive

Dorian Gray, Salem Witch Trials and the Thousand Cock Stare

Ninjas, Mimes & Hot Sex- The Bedhead’s Quick Guide to Dirty Talk

Poll: The F**k-it List, Because No Way Am I the Only One Who Does This

I Had to Block Someone on OkCupid Last Night And Here’s What I Learned

Think “If you’re not sure if you’ve had an orgasm, you haven’t”? Shut up.

Sex-Positivity, Autonomy and Why I Don’t Sleep With Women

Stop saying “Friend zone”. That’s not a thing.

Cherry Picking: Let’s Rethink Virginity

Poll: Does Sexy Underwear Even Matter? Like, At All?

I Have First Date Sex and No, I’m Not Killing Courtship by Doing So