Being Cool With The Sex Archive

Here’s The Thing About “Porn Sex” vs “Real Sex”

There are some headlines that come up over and over again in sex world and one that makes my skin crawl is “The Difference Between Porn Sex and Real Sex”

When I started writing about sex one of my big motivations was my lifelong belief that I was doing it wrong. After a coupe of months of writing I realized

Back in the day the internet was a lawless land full of random message boards and chat rooms where people wandered around in the hopes of finding people who shared

I recently talked to my partner about how, once you’ve lived in sex positive world for a while, you start to forget that not everyone is comfortable talking openly about

Casual sex seems to be more prevalent than ever. Now, I have good news and bad news about that. The good news is, it’s gotten way easier to find no strings attached

I’m not going to lie to you folks, Valentine’s Day has never been my favorite and now that I’ve been in the sex writing game for longer than I was

Sexting. I think at this point a lot of us do it and it’s one of those things that I’ve realized people assume I must, because of my work, be

You Know You’ve Done It!! I know I’ve done it and I’m pretty sure you have too. Ask your friends, I’m willing to bet they all have a story about the

Earlier this week, California Judge Donald Black ruled that abstinence-only education isn’t actually sex education (preach, sir!), provides inaccurate information and doesn’t meet California’s curriculum guidelines. So, this leaves one to

You may have noticed that in the last couple of years there have been a bevy of stories about hook-up culture, online dating, friends with benefits and the

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JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken here at The Redhead Bedhead.

JoEllen has led workshops nationwide on sexual communication, navigating consent, having casual sex kindly, and dating as an introvert. She has toured sex shops, spoken at length on dildos, and even started a sex school but she is happiest and most effective when writing and speaking on behalf of quiet people who have sex. Check out her video series on attending conferences as an introvert and her extensive writing on sex and depression.

JoEllen has spoken at Clark College, University of Chicago, University of Tennessee, the Guelph Sexuality Conference, Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit, and the Playground Conference

JoEllen’s first book The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression & The Conversation We Aren’t Having was published by Thorntree Press in March 2020. Her new book In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family was published by Thornapple Press in March 2023.

Being Cool With The Sex Archive

Here’s The Thing About “Porn Sex” vs “Real Sex”

When It Comes To Sex, You’re Doing Great!

To Get The Sex You Want Online, Read The Damn Room

3 Ways To Use The Internet As Your Sexual Communication Wingman

5 Tips For Being A (Kind & Classy) Casual Sex Rock Star

A Slightly Cynical Sex Writer Does Valentine’s Day

Sexting With A Sex Writer

Everyone Makes This HUGE Mistake in BED!!!

The Blind Leading the Blind- Is Abstinence Only Education To Blame For Parents Who Can’t Say “Penis”?

Stop Clutching Your Pearls Folks, Hook Ups Can Actually Be Healthy