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The Redhead Bedhead: Sex Educator JoEllen Notte
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Poll: Does Sexy Underwear Even Matter? Like, At All?

I admit it, I have a sexy underwear buying problem. I know Victoria. She’s told me her secrets. I have a bunch of sparkly, pretty, impractical but gorgeous matching sets of underthings. But here’s the what: No one ever sees them. Not because I am celibate and not because I don’t wear them. On the contrary, before an evening with a paramour I will spend time making sure I look as good (if not better) in my under garments as I do in my clothes.

Cut to the next morning when I wake up to find my pretty panties on my bedroom floor, (possibly still inside my pants because sometimes folks get zealous and stuff comes off all at once) and my gorgeous bra in the living room on the couch where it was left after being unhooked while my shirt was still on and ultimately torn off like a pesky lace annoyance standing between someone and breasts.

I say "Pretty!" My date says "Whatever! Stop blocking the boobs!!"

I look at this and say “Pretty!” My date looks at it and says “Whatever, stop blocking the boobs!!”

The upshot? No one saw my underwear at all. I could have been wearing pantaloons and my Super Grover t-shirt and it probably wouldn’t have affected the situation.

But I still love sexy underwear. I still feel super hot in cute matching bra and panty sets. I still wear sexy underthings when I go on dates. I still cling to the hope that one day someone will see it without me having to stage a pin-up shoot.

What about you folks? Where do you stand on the issue? Does it matter? Does the fact that it makes you feel hot matter?

I’m taking a poll (dirty!) Tell me what you think! What’s your sexy underwear philosophy?

 

 


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5 Comments

  1. Maggie Reply
    February 23, 2013 at 5:56 pm

    While my BF enjoys my sexy undies, they really are for me. Wearing something lacy while at work gives me a boost and helps to rev me up for what comes later.

  2. Lorax Of Sex Reply
    February 26, 2013 at 2:09 am

    I tend to wear men’s underwear because it’s comfy and it doesn’t ride up my ass. I never really liked wearing feminine undies even when I did wear them. Girly girl clothes are awkward and uncomfortable enough as it is, I don’t need to be fighting my knickers at the same time. And bras? In my size bras that FIT are a luxury, let alone finding them in a cute/sexy style or colour. I gave up on this long long ago.

    • Elizabeth Linsley Reply
      March 8, 2013 at 12:02 pm

      I know what you mean about pretty bras in my size being an issue.

  3. Elizabeth Linsley Reply
    March 8, 2013 at 12:01 pm

    Lingerie, I like it, but my boys think naked is the most stunning thing I can be. I’m not a slender toned body type either, and yet something about my moonlight colored flesh is most appealing without adornment to them. To quote the boyfriend “Your body is a wonderland but not six flags, its a 160 acre multi feature extravaganza like Disney World. Baby you’ve got fireworks at the end of the night and everything.” How can I argue with such a winning appraisal?

    • TheRedheadBedhead Reply
      March 10, 2013 at 9:21 pm

      This is maybe my favorite comment ever. Ever.

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About JoEllen

JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken here at The Redhead Bedhead.

JoEllen has led workshops nationwide on sexual communication, navigating consent, having casual sex kindly, and dating as an introvert. She has toured sex shops, spoken at length on dildos, and even started a sex school but she is happiest and most effective when writing and speaking on behalf of quiet people who have sex. Check out her video series on attending conferences as an introvert and her extensive writing on sex and depression.

JoEllen has spoken at Clark College, University of Chicago, University of Tennessee, the Guelph Sexuality Conference, Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit, and the Playground Conference

JoEllen’s first book The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression & The Conversation We Aren’t Having was published by Thorntree Press in March 2020. Her new book In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family was published by Thornapple Press in March 2023.

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