Doin' it to the beat- Sexy 90s R&B Edition

One of my favorite blogs is The Mamasutra on The Buzz (Good Vibrations’ Online Magazine). Recently she did this great post about Tennessee’s “Gateway Sexual Activities” law which restricts teachers, when teaching sex ed, from talking about behaviors that can lead to sex (ie kissing, holding hands, touching etc). I thought, as I have since back when the bill was first introduced, “Where do we draw the line? Can the kids listen to Marvin Gaye?” Which is why we’re here today. Music and sex have always been connected, in ways good, bad and sometimes hilarious. Today we’re looking at 1990s R&B. Why so specific? Two reasons: 1- when it comes to sex-related music 1990s R&B/Hip-Hop is the gift that keeps on giving- there is no end to the awesomeness going on and thus 2. it’s some of my favorite stuff- I freaking love it! Here are 5 of the most noteworthy jams of the 90s (and some honorable mentions too!):

1. Let’s Talk About Sex – Salt -n- Pepa – 1991

You can’t talk 90s sex music and not touch on this one. 1991’s Let’s Talk About Sex was not SnP’s first (or last) track to put sex front and center but this one cemented their place as strong, assertive women in control of their sexuality and sounded a gong for everyone else to take control of theirs. As a catholic school kid, this song was the first place I learned about the concept of sex-positive communication. 1991 was early days in term of HIV/AIDS awareness and safe-sex education (especially among heterosexuals) and this song was an awesomely accessible way to get folks talking. Salt-n-Pepa threw down the sexual gauntlet – if we’re going to do it let’s be open and up-front and know what we’re doing.

And then this happened…

2. I Wanna Sex You Up- Color Me Badd – 1991

So much to say about this but really the biggest point here is that these gentlemen simply don’t seem to grasp how sex works. Mechanically. This little ditty (which was featured on the New Jack City soundtrack- what?) features such promises as “We can do it til we both wake up”… now I’m no expert but if you’ve both fallen asleep you’re not doing it anymore (Pro tip – even if only one of you is asleep, there should be no doing it. Everyone needs to be awake for intercourse) There is also mention of “making love until we drown” um who with the what now? Are they in a pool? Why is drowning presented as a goal? I’m so confused and based on these lyrics (and the hairstyles in this video) so are the boys of Color Me Badd. It’s like they just need better instructions.

Which is why I thank the powers that be for this…

3. I’ll Make Love to You – Boyz II Men – 1994

Most folks my age know this as the song you slow danced to at your junior prom. It wasn’t until I got a bit older that I realized that this is about more than typical slow-jam seduction, this track gets straight-up instructional. Indeed, most of the lyrics are just directions. (“Pour the wine/ Light the fire”- teenage boys could have made checklists off this thing) My brother has been known to interpret one line as “Throw your clothes on the floor/I’m going to take my clothes of too BECAUSE THAT’S HOW THIS WORKS!.” Really, you could hear the conversation going down that way. Anyway, you have to hand it to them, Boyz II Men were unwavering in their commitment to getting it on. Even if they had to take you step by step through it, you were going to have a good time.

And then there are folks who need no instruction at all…

4. Doin’ It – LL Cool J featuring Leshaun – 1996

I recently found myself in a debate about whether this song was sex-positive and my answer- not even taking into account my life-long crush on LL Cool J – is HELL to the YES! We have two people (one of whom is very excited about everyone’s geographic origins) singing about how mutually psyched they are for their encounter, talking about the condom they use, making sure everyone enjoys the experience (I ♥ a man who raps about attending to the g-spot) and having a little post-coital verbal hi-five. Add to that the fact that the original track features a female orgasm (it was edited out of the video, along with most references to female pleasure from “g-spot” to “kitty cat”- seriously?!) and I don’t see how you could go wrong. We should all be this committed to “doin’ it well”.

Finally the award for sexual subtlety in music goes to…

5. Too Close- Next – 1998

Brass tacks? This song is about a boner. That’s it. Doubt me? Start the video. Spoken intro (I wish I was kidding here): “I wonder if she can tell I’m hard right now? Hmm” In 1998 this song rose (not unlike the member in question) to #1 on the U.S. Hot 100 and R&B charts and went Platinum. Let’s think about what went into that enterprise. Someone actually thought “You know how when you dance with a girl your dick gets hard? No one is singing about that enough” A woman agreed to sing the female part of this song which boils down to “Hey, did you just poke me with your junk?” Someone came up with the choreography at 0:13 (I picture a production meeting involving the question “can they bob their heads more?”). People called radio stations and walked in to music stores (for my younger readers) asking for the song where the guy gets wood in a club often enough for this song to hit #1, get unseated and then reclaim the top spot. That’s a lot for one tumescent penis to accomplish. Maybe that’s what those late-night drug commercials mean when they say “a more powerful” erection…