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And We’re Back! The Playground Conference Returns (and So Do I!)

Suited up and ready to face the Playground Conference!I spent the last weekend of February in Toronto for the Playground Conference and, frankly, it was pretty rad. I attended Playground in 2015 and then the conference took a bit of a hiatus so it was incredibly exciting to have it back. I found attending the return of Playground especially poignant as it was my first real event since last year’s massive depressive episode. Last summer I staggered through two conferences that I barely remember and, honestly, I felt like I hadn’t really functioned like a professional in public in well over a year. It felt like Playground and I were coming back together and I really appreciated that. Additionally, Playground is a fabulous event run by wonderful and kind people. If you’ve never been, I seriously recommend checking it out. Organizer Samantha Fraser goes above and beyond to make her event everything a sex positive conference should be.

On Saturday afternoon, I had the pleasure of presenting Keep Giving a Fuck: A Conversation About Prioritizing Sex During Trying Times with my wonderful collaborator (and, frankly, one of my favorite people ever) Stephen Biggs. It was a great session, we took some awesome questions from the attendees and I may have gotten extremely real about some stuff. Good times. The only thing I could have wished for was more time but I feel like that’s always true.

After we were done I had what I’ve come to recognize as my standard Saturday-night-at-a-conference …

Doing my traditional conference “collapse in my hotel room, skipping all the cool stuff going on downstairs” routine, looking over the tweets from #pgconfgiveaf, feeling weepy, extremely lucky that I get to do this work, and grateful for all of you#pgconfTO @lewandmassager

— JoEllen Notte (@JoEllenNotte) February 25, 2018

Work stuff aside, I got to see a ton of great people, hug folks I normally only connect with via a keyboard, visit a bunch of cool sex shops, cuddle a lot and generally just enjoy being around people who think, talk, care and geek out about the same stuff I do and challenge me to do that all more and better. I did learn a powerful lesson this time about budgeting my energy. I didn’t go to nearly as many things as I planned and I still ran out of steam before the closing, inadvertently fell asleep and missed it which killed me as the speakers were the amazing Dirty Lola and Kevin Patterson (whose book- Love’s Not Color Blind-I picked up and wholeheartedly recommend). Lesson learned: in the future I need to map out my must-sees, budget my energy accordingly and be realistic about it, i.e. not planning for the amount of mental/emotional energy I think I “should” have but understanding how much I generally do have. I legit talked to my doctor about this when I got home.

Hats off to my doctor who when I said “I seem to be worse than I used to be in terms of social/mental stamina, how can I fix that?” made sure I wasn’t talking about anxiety and then basically told me it’s okay to be me, even if I need to severely budget my energy.

— JoEllen Notte (@JoEllenNotte) March 2, 2018

There was one other fun thing I got to do at Playground: I gave away a bunch of cool Le Wand gifts and, on the last day, a huge prize pack! I think I may have had more fun with this than anyone else did! Below you can check out some folks sporting their Le Wand gifts and the giveaway winner, Wendy (who is an awesome, talented sex educator)! Check it out:

Playground conference attendees pose with Le Wand pins and magnets

  So this whole thing, my trip, the giveaway, all of it was made possible by the generous support of the folks at Le Wand. I cannot thank them enough for sponsoring this trip! I have been so impressed by my experience working with Le Wand, everything about the experience was absolutely fabulous! If you haven’t checked them out yet, you definitely should.

Le Wand massager in white and grey


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About JoEllen

JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken here at The Redhead Bedhead.

JoEllen has led workshops nationwide on sexual communication, navigating consent, having casual sex kindly, and dating as an introvert. She has toured sex shops, spoken at length on dildos, and even started a sex school but she is happiest and most effective when writing and speaking on behalf of quiet people who have sex. Check out her video series on attending conferences as an introvert and her extensive writing on sex and depression.

JoEllen has spoken at Clark College, University of Chicago, University of Tennessee, the Guelph Sexuality Conference, Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit, and the Playground Conference

JoEllen’s first book The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression & The Conversation We Aren’t Having was published by Thorntree Press in March 2020. Her new book In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family was published by Thornapple Press in March 2023.

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