I sat down to write my annual “best of” post and I was confronted with the fact that, compared to other years, I really didn’t write a whole lot in 2016. I spent a lot of this past year struggling to work at all (long story, I promise I will write about living in the moldy building one day) so, much like with last week’s Favorite Things list I briefly considered not doing this list at all. But here’s the thing, though I may not have written a lot, I actually wrote some of my all-time favorite things this year. Plus a bunch of things happened that I’m super-proud of that aren’t pieces of writing. So, I decided to think a bit differently about this whole thing.
I kept beating myself up about not “doing” much this year, when really 2016 was kind of big. This year I grew and changed and shifted. I realized I was no longer “Saving the World From Mediocre Sex”, I was actually spending my time talking about sex, mental health, and how no one is broken. The scope of who I am and what I do expanded, So, first the first time ever, I’m expanding the scope of The Best of Bedhead. This year we’re looking at my favorite posts, podcasts, appearances, and more!
So here it is, this list contains my 10 favorite posts, podcasts, appearances, and more listed chronologically (because I don’t like ranking things). I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed making it- thank you all so much for continuing to give me an audience for this work.
2016 Best of Bedhead
In 2016, all roads led back to this post. It was syndicated by multiple outlets, the topic shaped the second round of sex and depression interviews (as well as this year’s Monster Under the Bed session at Woodhull), and it expanded the scope of my entire sex and depression project. Also, it’s got some great tips for when your partner’s dealing with depression.
You can’t swing a flogger without hitting someone raving about the wonder of the Womanizer and amid the frenzy there’s a lot of talk of how it “works for everyone!”, “cures anorgasmia!”, but it didn’t work for me at all. I know enough to know that doesn’t mean something is wrong with me, but what about folks who don’t? What about the people who read about the miracle toy that can get an orgasm out of a stone and become convinced something is wrong with them? I wrote this one because everyone should know they aren’t broken.
Two years after a bully almost scared me out of my profession I finally saw the situation for what it was. Then I was able to see the lessons in the whole thing, write about them, add some fun gifs, and create one of my all-time favorite posts.
Nothing gets under my skin quite like sex positivity that implies sex (any kind of sex) is mandatory. Last “Masturbation May” I got to thinking about the pressure that comes with the relentless positioning of masturbation as awesome/fun/healthy/the best, because, like anything, it might not be everyone’s jam. And that’s okay too.
After years of struggling to feel comfortable in “sex positive” spaces that actually feel sexually performative, I asked the fabulous Dawn Serra if we could chat about the difference on her show Sex Gets Real. What followed was one of my favorite podcasts ever.
Ah, here I got to kick back and be the subject of someone else’s work! The wonderful Caitlin Murphy profiled my work on sex and depression for Vice. They did a wonderful job and I’m still super flattered by the whole thing!
This year at Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit there was so much that I was proud of! I got to host an opening night event aimed at, well, people like me, I spoke on a panel about business practices that was entirely populated by women (with two of my favorite colleagues), and The Monster Under The Bed ended up trending on twitter – also, we had a great session featuring fabulous, insightful, brave, compassionate, freaking wonderful attendees. The title of the post doesn’t lie.
Then this happened. An unfortunate medication change coincided with all of this year’s pressures reaching their zenith and I ended up in a place I’d never been before.
That time I learned how things I do to make myself accommodating and unobtrusive actually do the opposite and that letting people help is more than okay, sometimes it’s their job.
Some would say it’s a bit nervy to put last week’s post about my favorite things from 2016 on this list but my decision to veer from the usual list-of-10-toys format turned this year’s post into something very, very different and something that, in the end, I’m quite proud of.